Tay-Z sold out...

Whatever happened to the STRUGGLE Tay? The mofo'n STRUGGLE! You ain't right Tay, you ain't right...





Credits: Crunk & Disorderly

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Me on a dating site.

He's viewed my profile. He likes what he sees. The next step: The Instant Message.


Him: Hey, I thought your profile was interesting.

Hater: Oh yeah? Of course you did.

Him: You're cute.

Hater: You have a penis. SCORE!!!

Him: Uh, okay, what do you like to do for fun?

Hater: I go to my Baby Stroller Kicking Anonymous class on Tuesdays, and I split the rest of my time between Re-chilling and Chill-axing. Emphasis on the axing.

Him: LOL you're...funny. So what's your idea of a romantic evening?

Hater: You first.

Him: Candlelight, dinner, drinks maybe a back massage LOL.

Hater: Creepy. I'm in to str8 fukkin.

Him: What?

Hater: You heard me. What's really good? I just bought a whole box of Maggies brand unused. Classy.

Him: .... (user just went idle)

Hater: What happened boo?

Hater: Shit. *channels Biggie* And another one...

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Things That Feel (So Damned) Good Are Bad For You...

Let's face it, life is a beautiful tease and an ugly ass let down. Everyone thinks they can be happy, but the truth is, you really can't be. The best you can aspire to be grumpily content, settling for comfort without too much stimulation or excitement.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. This is a list of shit that makes you feel great but is really bad for you. The world hates you if you do MOST of this stuff, but secretly they all want to do it themselves.


Eating Unhealthy: aka "Eating regular shit"

No meat, go organic, nothing fried, sugar is the devil blah blah blah. Guess what? Vegetables taste like crap. And organic food is so fucking expensive. Do you know why most poor people are fat and unhealthy? It's because no one can afford to go to Whole Foods. No one has money for a bag of whole wheat organic no carb flour when they can buy ten dollars of fried chicken and feed like five people.

Let's face it, "bad" shit tastes good even though it gives you diabetes and cancer. And because it tastes good, it makes you feel good too. Oh but it will kill you. Carry on.


Sex: aka "doin' whoever you want/whenever you want"



Everyone has to be so damned responsible for their bodies, and the bodies of others. Oh God, AIDS and the clap and the boogey man virus. Yikes! Well guess what? 1 in 4 people have herpes. Everyone has fucking HPV. And unprotected sex feels so good. I mean, damn. It's so awesome.

Yes this is so politically incorrect. But I'm so telling the truth, and you know it. That being said, it will fucking kill you. It's at the point where I'd rather catch HIV than herpes. If I come up like Magic, I can beat the virus...but herpes? That's just nasty.


Yes, to answer your question (or the question you should be asking yourself, unless you already know the answer) I AM IGNORANT. (And Bitter)

Oh and let's not forget those unwanted babies. That'll kill you too. Well it will kill me. If I find out I'm pregnant, I'm making a Bleach Cosmo and calling it a good night folks. Fuck an abortion. They're for suckers. Y'all in this together, you just can't hit the "eject" button 'cause you want to. Black Hawk Down! Leave no man behind!




Love:aka "You Sucka"




Okay, so this is the thing on the list that no one will condemn you for. But you'll be sorry you've ever done it folks. Love is not an illusion, it's real. No question. It's beautiful and pure and perfect. But human beings aren't. We always fuck up the application process. It's like trying to put together an IKEA bookcase without the right instructions. Sure we all think we have the right instructions, but the ones we have are in Japanese. And even the Japanese don't know how to do it either. That's a shocker huh?

What am I talking about again? Oh yeah. We're all doomed. Love has killed more people than fifty holocausts. Love is the Uber-Hitler.




Alcohol & Controlled Substances: aka, "The Devil"



So what's killing Amy "Rehab" Winehouse and your uncle? You already know. But life sucks so hard that the only way you can have a little fun is to get fucked up out of your mind.

Oh wait, that's just me?

Nevermind. Off to my intervention. I got that Lindsay Lohan, Man.

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This Motherfucka Is Crazaaay

Either he's insane or just a motherfucking genius. I can't tell anymore people. I'm literally dead right now and on life support as of this writing.

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Cycle Fifteeleven of ANTM Has Begun...

Yawwwwn. Somebody tell me what the fuck be happening on there? I have a feeling I'm going to miss a lot of episodes.


That's right Tyra...that's the same way I feel.

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Now THATS Funny

This is probably old news but very amusing to me. I.E. the likes of Rhianna, Serena Williams and Ashanti laughing at the Britney Spears debacle on the MTV Awards.

Let's not cast the first stone with y'all non-singing, plastic faced, Umbrella carrying, penis having asses.

To fall off hard you gotta be up on high in the first place. That's all.

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What Happened Trina?

Weezy!

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Remembering 9-11

Take a few moments to remember the events of 9-11-2001.


I said a few moments. Not the whole day reading 3,000 names and wallowing in grief. It's not healthy. It's morbid, sensationalistic and a distraction from more pressing issues going on in the world today...


like

The Jena 6

and oh yeah, that pesky war.

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The Comeback of The Century

Kanyeezy was pissed because he didn't get any awards, he didn't get the main stage or the main performance--like the slag up above did.

I would normally say he's being a big fucking baby, but when you compare him and his solid and somewhat innovative repetoire with the slag counting every step in that youtube clip, then maybe he has a point?


Much love to Nova Slim for showing me the way and the light...

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He Killed This Shit...

I don't like Soulja Boy or Travis Barker, but together this "remix" works.

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What the hell you choocooin 'bout?

This is the same reason me and my best friend aren't talking anymore. I so relate...

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Ummm okay...

Nobody really reads this shit but...I'm trying to be better about updating it. If anyone knows of a reliable (and free) email subscription service I can put on here will y'all hit me back?

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Me Likey.

Kanye, that douchebag, he's just awesome.

Kanye West - Stronger
Uploaded by Petitprince13

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Update on the Dipset Dissension

I may be late on the info but I found this tidbit on Miss Info's blog:

“Me and Cam’ron havent spoken to each other in a year…. I kept quiet out of loyalty, I felt like if we cant be friends then at least we can do business together….But now I can’t be next to you….I’m through wit being in hot water because of you….We still the Diplomats. We worked too hard to achieve our own success and now we’re gonna do something new….”
-Jim Jones

I was wondering what was going on with the Dipshits, I mean, Dipset. Seems like things are still up in the air.

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It's Pride Month...

And The Hater's a hater, but even she can't hate on alternative lifestyles. Rock on with that rainbow.

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Fuck is this...

So I went on a blog thing binge...what the hayle y'all tryna say? Eff you blogthings!

Your Life is 91% Off Track

Okay, so you probably are living the wrong life. But the good news is, you know it. You ultimately control how good or bad your life is - and it's time to get to work. Get therapy, dump your significant other, or move across the country. It's time to shake things up.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

Your Mind is 93% Cluttered

Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to.

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

There's a 78% Chance That You Need Therapy

You almost certainly need therapy. And there's nothing wrong with that. Lately life has not been easy for you. Why not let a therapist help you sort things out?

Do You Need Therapy?

You Are a Bad Student

You aren't really that into school, no matter what you are studying. Maybe you need to take a year off and figure out what you want. Because right now, class is the last place you want to be.

Are You a Good Student?

You Are 78% Burned Out

You are very burned out. You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible. And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life. Because you're working hard and going no where... and that would burn anyone out!

Are You Burned Out?

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Congratulations O.J.

For one brief moment in American history, white people hated Paris Hilton more than you. Pat yourself on the back buddy, and enjoy it while it lasts.


Because you still make me sick.

BTW I need for people to calm the hell down about this Paris shit. It's okay to get a little pissed because even though she wound up going back to jail, she got lots of special treatment that us regular people wouldn't have gotten...however, what did you expect? When she gets out she'll still be Paris Hilton. That means, she'll be able to piss on the pope-mo-bile while calling you the N word. And Ludacris will still party with her at Tao while Don King sings her praises.

Only In America!

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I'm Sorry, Come Again?

What in the homo holy hell was the Pentagon thinking? From CBS 5 in San Fran:

A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior." ..."The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay," explained Hammond.

Rest of the story here.

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Get The Fuck Outta Here

Is this true? An article in the New York Times says that only 12% of BET's viewing audience is black. Whoa. This explains a lot.

BET does not have the ratings it should have with 12 percent of the audience being black,” said Leo Hindery, a partner in Intermedia Partners, which owns a majority stake in the Gospel Channel, a cable network. “It has never developed a soul of its own. I would do more sports than they are doing and I would stay with the youth audience.

I am floored. There were so many people complaining that BET is nothing but a big minstrel show that objectifies and glorifies ignance (yeah I meant to write it like that) and stereotypes. One episode of College Hill and King would rollover in his grave.


Clip from Season 4 of College Hill

Click on the link for the full article.

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Kim K. Gets More Butt Than Ashtrays...

Damn girl, another one?

Bossip is reporting that Evan Ross and Kim K. are a couple. This is only news to me because that possibly means that Reggie Bush is done skeeting on with her. Oh well. I don't know if they're dating, but they seem close. Like fighting over the last bottle of Nair close.

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I'm Not Eating That!

I've never seen something so creative yet so disgusting & tacky at the same time. Hire this cakemaker for your next baby shower. I dare you. Not Safe For Work. After the jump...

Click to view entire picture...

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A Better Kind of Hater

My birthday is coming up. See the list of things I need to do to become a better hater person.

1. Stop being so cynical: The world is full of beautiful things. Like Steven Segal's man breasts. And the world is filled with hope, much like the hope I had that Heather Mill's leg would fly off on Dancing With The Stars and hit Joey FatOne in the head. I know she wanted to pelt it at him. Bye Bye Bye.

2. Stop being so emotionally defensive: You know the drill, you feel slighted so you slight back. You feel hurt so you close yourself off. You feel fucked so you don't give one. You appear on a sex tape with Ray J and get fucking Reggie Bush. (How?)

3. Stop writing bad poetry: On my old blog I murdered souls with my gut wrenching poetry. Alas, no more. I'll just post that Lil' Cease vid every chance I get. Same results, less work.

4. Learn to accept people for who they are: People are human and they don't exactly have to live up to my standards in order for me to feel that they care about me. You know that episode of Ugly Betty where Betty's sister "Latina Stereotype Number 827" told her she was too hard on her friends? I can totally relate. And also, I need to accept that people are human, and they make mistakes. We can't all have contraceptives at the ready. I forgive you mom!

5. Judge lest ye be judged when ye lest be judged by ye: Don't hate, you know Asia totally deserved to win the Pussycat Dolls Search. Yeah I said it! Transvestite my can!

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Lil' Cease Is A Big Tease (NSFW!!!!)

I don't know how much longer this video will be up but it's showing Lil' Cease stripping for a room full of his boys. Playing around a baby soft terry cloth white towel...ummm ummm ummm how you doin' Cease?

(Notice the women in the room don't give a fuck, but his boys are so hyped!)

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Reggie + Kim

Is it true?

Rumor mill says Kim Kardashian (i.e. Urinal Cake) is dating Reggie Bush.

Oh well Reggie, you're still hot. I just hope you're into water sports.

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Oh Snap!

How Jim Jones gonna kick Cam out of Dipset? Isn't that Cam's shit?

Waiting to hear the Jim Jones interviews on SHot 97...

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What About Your Friends?

That pic above is supposed to be a part of a series of screencaps that depict Lindsay Blohan 1) stuffing coke up a friend's nostrils 2) Doing lines of coke. Her "buddy" leaked this to press in an effort to show how messed up she is. I call this "dry snitching".

Listen, I looked at the pics and I didn't see anything incriminating. There's one of a girl stuffing something in another girl's nose but you can't really be sure that it's Lindsay.

I'm not saying that this bitch isn't constantly coked out of her mind, but what's the point of trying to blow somebody's shit up if you're not explicitly showing her doing something. This is bullshit! We want real dirt! Here's what her fairweather friend had to say about the night the filming took place:

"Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it...She carries around a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda...That night I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am even though she had started about 8pm the night before. She wasn't even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor. I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become."

Okay so we get it, she got all coked up in the ladies' room and you were filming it. But how much coke did you do that night? And what about the other girls who you put on blast that are shown in the pics? You trying to "help" them too? Who ever the snitch is don't care, she just starts to feed some "juicier" superfluous info to the tabs when she says:

"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out. One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat."

If you go to News Of The World, you'll see that the snitch is also talking about about how Lindsay has a sex addiction, and how she likes to do british guys like Jude Law (eww) and James Blunt (double eww). Listen, I'm not about to straight up hate on Lohan because I'm not Perez Hilton and I haven't been hired by Paris to do so...but we all know she's a freak and a coke ho. I wanted some hardcore EVIDENCE! I wanna see her do coke off of a toilet seat snitches. Next time, be on your job when you're trying to snag some fame and money of your own. And remember Linds, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your friend's nose, but you can't stuff coke up your friend's nose. Oh wait, nevermind.

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I'm Signing Up To Be In The Funky Bunch

Does anyone know when Shooter is coming out on DVD?


I saw it in the theatre, but really this whole topic is just a rouse to show a couple of Mark Wahlberg pictures.


I don't know if you can tell but he has a perfect body. I hear he's sort of an arrogant A-Hole, but I like his swagger. I think arrogant people call it "confidence". I like it. I like the way it smells. It's such a good vibration.

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It's Not Right, But It's Okay

So there are going to be people who you don't even know that talk shit about you, treat you bad and and judge you; and there's nothing you can do about that except let them hate.

But then there are the people who you do know and who you do trust. They'll turn on you over silliness, treat you fucked up and was never really down for you in the first place. Now that shit hurts right there, worse than the hate coming from people you don't even know. But take heart because karma is a bitch. They'll be a time when they'll need you again and they'll realize it. Or if they still don't have any use for you anymore (maybe they never did), they'll realize how good you were despite your flaws.

You don't need the kind of person who'd rather have the shiny glass just because it looks like a precious stone, over the coal that will someday be a diamond.

Some people can't wait for diamond, so all they see is soot.

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You Make Me Sick

Look at that two-bit housewreckin' hussy. I must admit though, not as bad looking as everyone says. And Tameka isn't all that ugly either. Who said she looked like Evander Holyfield? Shame on you.


Ahhh...young love. You two kids have fun.

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45 Nights In Paris?

I smell a new sex tape Paris!

America's favorite party girl has been ordered to jail, and her stay there will be no trip to the Hilton.

A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in a Los Angeles county jail Friday for violating her probation. Come June 5, Hilton will be confined to a segregated 8-by-12-foot cell in a Lynwood, Calif., detention center for women. Her designer duds won't be welcome.

"She will be in an orange jumpsuit, and everything else, the accoutrement, the makeup, is an absolute minimum," said Sgt. Steve Whitmore of the L.A. County Sheriff's Department.

Hilton's cell phone, her crystal-encrusted trademark, will be banned as well. But not being able to text and talk with her celebrity friends will be the least of Hilton's worries.

"Forty-five days in L.A. County Jail is really rough. That's an awful, hellish place," said criminal defense attorney Dana Cole. "Conditions are miserable, people take showers under cold dripping water, the food is completely inedible."

More at ABC News

Paris please, don't let them try to scare you. You gangsta. Show them Lolas whose boss. And if your cell mate is following you around with a broken mop stick, you'd better hope nobody's got video going. Damn the whole world's gone viral...

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Will Demps Vs. Reggie Bush

Hottie Battle!

When I first saw this guy Will Demps he was in the Letoya Luckett video Torn. I didn't know who he was but I was sure that he was destroying my soul with his hotness.





And then I stumbled upon this guy...


Reggie. He is the only man alive who can make man cleavage look good. He's in that new Ciara video, just in case you live under a rock.


So I got this idea from one of my favorite message boards and also contemplated the fact that in another thread someone said that they'd do this guy.

Oh...kay.

Excuse me while I morph into Tyra (growing six feet taller and stapling falsies onto my eyelids).

I have two beautiful men standing before me, but only one picture in my hands. Who will it be? The half-korean half-black sexy dude who kinda looks gay without his shirt on? Or the short chocolate dreamboat who kinda looks gay with his shirt almost off? The person who I call next is going to have to come over to my house to [censored] and [censored] me in the [censored] until he [censored] whenever I [censored].

Who will it be? Hmmm...

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Lindsay, Britney, Paris, Move Over!

Equal opportunity skankiness is just around the corner. Just when I thought all the white celebs had the market on cooch flashing, here comes this little debutante.





CANT Y'ALL BITCHES AFFORD SOME DRAWERS?

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Y'all Can Do Better Than This Shit

I know the subject’s pretty much dead, but I've been dying to comment on this bullshit for weeks.

I'm a young, black, nappy headed ho woman and here’s how I feel about it…

Dear Everybody Who Cried At Night Because of What Don Imus Said,

Please start another march again. Another march to give that nappy eye-browed motherfucker his job back. Why the hell did y’all march and scream and holla and enlist the King of The Black People to waste people’s time on this nonsense assed project? Getting a motherfucker fired. Come on now. That’s mad gay. Imus is probably somebody uncle. Would y’all want him to come down to your job and get your Uncle fired? No. It would be easy, ‘cause Uncle Pookie smoke weed and they are doing those random drug tests…right?

Fuck whether he was right or wrong for saying whatever he said, fuck all that. Let’s talk about the fact that every time some minor negro-related issue comes up, a big deal is made about it and people eventually are appeased by some bullshit when there’s real racism going on in the world--you know the type that actually affects people’s basic human rights and their quality of life? Not some old white motherfucker who needs PCJ all up in his brow area before he even tries to play somebody on that ole’ bullshit. Who cares what the fuck Imus said? Did y’all march and try to get Rush Limbaugh fired? Or Bill ‘O Reilly? No? Well they are still doing their thing, what makes this motherfucker so criminal?

First of all Imus has been saying fucked up shit for years…where the fuck was y’all at before? Second of all, this country is built on freedom of speech (or so I’ve been told). Now don’t get me wrong, whatever you say or do no matter how free you are, will result in corroborating consequences and repercussions. And if that involves mothefuckers not liking what you said and not patronizing your show or product, then oh well, you took the risk. In this land the consumer is boss and Imus’ consumers should have had the say in his fate. I doubt that the protestors and marchers even knew who the fuck he was until he got blown up for saying that dumb shit that wasn’t even funny.

Furthermore, this was not even worth protesting and marching for. Yes, you are correct, Imus’ talk is a symptom and indication of how black women are perceived by mainstream society, but getting him fired will do nothing about that perception. It only makes black people look like sensitive weak—not to mention stupid and shallow-- motherfuckers.

While you was busy getting all up in arms about Don Imus, there continued to be a lack of health and educational services for your children in inner-cities all across America. There are liquor stores and McDonalds/KFCs in your neighborhoods and a pervasive problem of diabetes and obesity. There is a lack of cash flow in the communities from denizen (i.e. “black”) owned businesses contributing to unemployment and poverty. Speaking of poverty, there are children who are not getting enough to eat in your community. They are sleeping in cars and shit while their older homeless counterparts are not getting the mental care they need so they run around on the C train stabbing tourists and not fucking taking a bath. There are children who think 50 Cent is a god, and who are more into their MySpace pages than their fucking notebooks and textbooks…and oh yeah, where are the fucking textbooks? And when you find some, where is all the information about how black people and immigrants built this motherfucker? Why is it that on the West Coast a war is starting between the Blacks and Mexican-Americans but not one of you cares that your neighbors, your “people” are being killed and run out of their homes? Why aren’t you protesting a beef partially instigated by a xenophobic presidential administration which also continues to be hypocritical toward immigrant policy (we’ll let y’all into work and give you amnesty for shooting a motherfucker, but we’ll also randomly deport your ass whenever we can). And if you want to talk about more “negro” issues, there’s a war going on where many of your black sons, boyfriends, husbands and brothers are on the frontline because they signed up for the armed forces chasing a fucking dream of getting an education and doing something important with their lives, because all that shit I listed above, is going on in their hood and they need a way out. And then there’s Sean Bell, and the problem of police brutality not just against Black people, but against poor people and people who are just plain ole’ bullied in everyday life by some of the scum on the police force that give the whole crew a bad name.

So you out there mad ‘cause some old motherfucker on his death bed, with the nappiest eyebrows I’ve ever laid eyes on, think the entire Rutgers women’s basketball team needs a fucking touch up? Give me a break. The next time you want to look for a reason to be self-righteous, find a real reason to be self-righteous.

And Imus, you ain't scot free in this either bitch. How you gonna talk about, “well rappers say it, so I thought it would be cool”? What kind of lame assed excuse is that you ignorant asshole? Since when did rappers come to represent all of Black American humanity in this country? And if Snoop jumped off a fucking bridge you gonna do it too? No, and if you say you would then you’d be lying. If you gonna say sorry then just say it. Stupid.

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