He's viewed my profile. He likes what he sees. The next step: The Instant Message.
Him: Hey, I thought your profile was interesting.
Hater: Oh yeah? Of course you did.
Him: You're cute.
Hater: You have a penis. SCORE!!!
Him: Uh, okay, what do you like to do for fun?
Hater: I go to my Baby Stroller Kicking Anonymous class on Tuesdays, and I split the rest of my time between Re-chilling and Chill-axing. Emphasis on the axing.
Him: LOL you're...funny. So what's your idea of a romantic evening?
Hater: You first.
Him: Candlelight, dinner, drinks maybe a back massage LOL.
Hater: Creepy. I'm in to str8 fukkin.
Him: What?
Hater: You heard me. What's really good? I just bought a whole box of Maggies brand unused. Classy.
Him: .... (user just went idle)
Hater: What happened boo?
Hater: Shit. *channels Biggie* And another one...
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Me on a dating site.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Ummm okay...
Nobody really reads this shit but...I'm trying to be better about updating it. If anyone knows of a reliable (and free) email subscription service I can put on here will y'all hit me back?
Read More......Friday, June 15, 2007
Fuck is this...
So I went on a blog thing binge...what the hayle y'all tryna say? Eff you blogthings!
| Your Life is 91% Off Track |
 Okay, so you probably are living the wrong life. But the good news is, you know it. You ultimately control how good or bad your life is - and it's time to get to work. Get therapy, dump your significant other, or move across the country. It's time to shake things up. |
| Your Mind is 93% Cluttered |
 Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to. |
| There's a 78% Chance That You Need Therapy |
 You almost certainly need therapy. And there's nothing wrong with that. Lately life has not been easy for you. Why not let a therapist help you sort things out? |
| You Are a Bad Student |
 You aren't really that into school, no matter what you are studying. Maybe you need to take a year off and figure out what you want. Because right now, class is the last place you want to be. |
| You Are 78% Burned Out |
 You are very burned out. You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible. And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life. Because you're working hard and going no where... and that would burn anyone out! |
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
A Better Kind of Hater
My birthday is coming up. See the list of things I need to do to become a better hater person.
1. Stop being so cynical: The world is full of beautiful things. Like Steven Segal's man breasts. And the world is filled with hope, much like the hope I had that Heather Mill's leg would fly off on Dancing With The Stars and hit Joey FatOne in the head. I know she wanted to pelt it at him. Bye Bye Bye.
2. Stop being so emotionally defensive: You know the drill, you feel slighted so you slight back. You feel hurt so you close yourself off. You feel fucked so you don't give one. You appear on a sex tape with Ray J and get fucking Reggie Bush. (How?)
3. Stop writing bad poetry: On my old blog I murdered souls with my gut wrenching poetry. Alas, no more. I'll just post that Lil' Cease vid every chance I get. Same results, less work.
4. Learn to accept people for who they are: People are human and they don't exactly have to live up to my standards in order for me to feel that they care about me. You know that episode of Ugly Betty where Betty's sister "Latina Stereotype Number 827" told her she was too hard on her friends? I can totally relate. And also, I need to accept that people are human, and they make mistakes. We can't all have contraceptives at the ready. I forgive you mom!
5. Judge lest ye be judged when ye lest be judged by ye: Don't hate, you know Asia totally deserved to win the Pussycat Dolls Search. Yeah I said it! Transvestite my can!